Today just for some reason I had this feel that I should pen down my feelings… so just trying to make it as simple as possible to express...
Life goes through many stages
Sometimes it teaches you, sometimes you give it a fight and sometimes you just let GO. There is a very famous saying “Love comes and go but friendship stays. love is another form of friendship” sometimes we take love too seriously and sometimes we take friendship too seriously but many times we fail to decide whether what we feel for the person is love or friendship..
I recently had a conversation with a dearie friend of mine and the crux that I could get out of it was interesting enough that I thought to share it.
It goes like: “in friendship we go through two stages one is SUPERFICIAL STATE and other is GROUNDED STATE “but you know when the discussion started I thought what this superficial and grounded could be. Then my friend while making it clear to me said SUPERFICIAL is that state in which we give so much of importance to friends that we stop thinking rationally and stop considering that changes are meant to happen. Friends are a part of life but we give it a superficial resemblance to life. Friend is not someone who will stay with you every time but will be with you whenever we need them. They will do their bit in composing your caught off balance life. We forget to keep a perfect balance in life.
GROUNDED is that level where you are sufficient for yourself. If nobody is there at least you are there for yourself. This doesn’t mean one has to live in isolation but you donor need people to make you feel good... you are your best friend.
In this you listen to everyone but you do what you think you should do. Friends are important but how much importance you want to give them is in your hands.
Everyone meets the categories of friends in their lifetime out of which some are good , very good , loving , caring , encouraging , discouraging , backstabbers , jealous , desperate , dumb , playing dumb , morons , liars but it all depends on you to decide whether you want to keep all of them or just few and that too which extent .
This discussion made me think what to do and how to react but one think I have learnt out of this was that I am still living in the superficial state and yet to attains the grounded state. Cannot say which one is better but second one surely sound promising.
If I comment on the second state being the kind of Deepti I am right now will say “hibernation” but again that will be superficial Deepti who value her friends more than her, who love them more than her, who cares for them more than her.
I am hopeful that the crux will surely help in getting out the fear of losing friends and will help in taking better decisions J J
